


Why you, Yoo Kihyun?

by SubtleNinja



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-11 12:46:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12935592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubtleNinja/pseuds/SubtleNinja
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend and he's too blind to see it.





	1. You Need To Leave

I looked at Kihyun as tears streamed down my face. 

“I need you to leave and not come back.”

Shock spread across Kihyun’s face.

“What? Why?”

“Because I can’t handle you anymore.”

He stepped towards me. I backed against the wall.

“Don’t touch me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Please don’t touch me.”

He stepped forward again.

“If you touch me, I’ll break.”

I stepped to my left to escape Kihyun’s attempted touch.

“Please explain. Where did this come from?”

“I can’t take your stories anymore. I don’t want to be around you for a while.”

“I tell you everything. Who else am I supposed to talk to?”

“Minhyuk, Jooheon, anyone but me. I need a break.”

I wiped the tears from my face and stepped further away from him.

He stood speechless.

“Please leave,” I whispered.

“No! You are going to explain yourself to me!”

I let out an exasperated breath. 

“How fucking stupid are you? Do you know what you do to me? Do you know how I feel when you tell me all about your conquests?”

“I’m not stupid!”

“I beg to differ with you on this subject. You are blind and oblivious to everything.”

Kihyun looked at me scrunching up his nose. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’ll spell it out for you. I’m in love with you and I am so sick and tired of hearing about how you want to date this woman and that woman or things you’ve done on your dates. As hard as I’ve tried to make you see me as a woman, you ignore me. I am so done with you.”

He rapidly walked into my space and placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Look at me.”

I shook my head “no”.

“I said look at me.”

I mustered my strength and looked him in the eyes.

“Say it again.”

“I said I am in love with you Yoo Kihyun! I’ve been in love with you for 2 years.”

I broke down and cried. All I could do is drop to my knees and let my emotions flow freely.

“I know I’m stupid Kihyun, I tried to stop myself but I just kept falling further and further in love with you. I know that you will never love me in return and never see me as anything more than your friend. So before I embarrass myself any further, please leave.”

“No, I want to talk about this.”

“That is not an option right now. I really need you to go. I’ll call you or text you when I’m ready to face you again.”

Kihyun dropped to his knees in front of me and touched my shoulders.

“I can’t do that. I cannot just walk away from you after this confession.”

I looked at Kihyun with bloodshot eyes.

“Just go, please. I need a break. I need to get myself together. Just know it’s gonna be a while.”

“Please don’t push me away.”

“Too late. Please go.”

Kihyun stood up and walked to the door and left.

I got up and sat on the couch, grabbed the box of tissues from the table, wiped my eyes and blew my nose. I cried until I fell asleep.

It would be 2 months before I had contact with Kihyun again.


	2. Impatient

Texts from Kihyun

9:18 AM It’s been 2 months. I’m tired of waiting.

10:00 AM Why won’t you answer me?

10:45 AM Please talk to me.

1:55 PM I’ve waited 3 hours for a response, why won’t you answer me?

3:36 PM I don’t know what you want me to say to make things better.

6:45 PM I miss you and I need you in my life. Please let me back into your life.

10:22 PM Goodnight.

*********************************************************************************************************************

I was sitting in my office when the receptionist buzzed me.

“Ms. Taylor, there is a delivery man here and only you can sign for the package.”

I was frustrated.

“Thank you. I’ll be there in a moment.”

I walked to the reception area to find Kihyun with the most insane flower arrangement I’d ever seen.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” Kihyun said with a smile.

I looked at the receptionist, “Thank you, Cathy.”

I turned to Kihyun, “You come with me.”

Kihyun nodded to Cathy and followed me to my office.

As soon as Kihyun entered my office I closed the door and shut the blinds.

“I don’t want anyone to see the circus sideshow that’s gonna happen.”

“What do you mean?” he asked scrunching his nose.

I shook my head and walked to my desk and Kihyun sat the flower arrangement on my conference table then took a seat in front of my desk.

“I’ve texted you and you never responded.

“I have a new phone number.”

Kihyun looked hurt.

“I hope the person who received my texts don’t misunderstand.”

I didn’t respond.

“I’ve waited for you to contact me and you haven’t. I miss you something fierce.”

“What do you want from me Kihyun?”

“I want my best friend back.”

“I told you I would contact you when I was ready.”

“But it’s been 2 months. I’ve missed you so much.”

I gave him a blank stare. I tried so hard to hold back my tears. Acting classes were paying off right now.

“I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

“I need you. My life is colorless without you.”

“No, that’s how your life would be without Minhyuk and Jooheon.”

Kihyun stood up and his face turned red, “No, that’s how I honestly feel. I don’t wanna play games with you.” He took a deep breath and continued. “You have no right to tell me what my life is like without you. I’m sorry I hurt you, I never realized how you felt, I never gave you and your feeling a second thought. But when you confessed to me, everything seems to make sense.”

“So, what are you trying to tell me?”

“I can’t live without you in my life. I need you and I want you.”

I sat behind my desk digesting all Kihyun had to say.

“I need you to understand that I can’t be the best friend I once was to you. I can’t take you telling me all about your women.”

He laughed, “You won’t need to hear about any other women because there won’t be any other women.”

I tilted my head to the left, “What?”

“These past 2 months of you not being around has made me realize that I need you in my life. You are more than just a friend to me.”

I wasn’t ready to hear what Kihyun had to say. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react.

Kihyun stood up and walked over to where I was sitting. He held out his hand and waited for me to accept his hand. After a couple of seconds of staring at each other I took him hand and stood up.

“I want you to be my friend again. I want you to continue to love me. I want to open my heart to you.”

He pulled me into a tight embrace. It was everything I hoped for but still felt odd about everything. I held him close and inhaled his scent. I missed his smell. He was always clean and musky. I loved that about him, he didn’t need perfumes, he had a manly scent all his own.

“How do you …”

Before I could complete my sentence, Kihyun put his hands on my cheeks and kissed me quickly on the lips. I pulled back from his embrace.

“This is too quick. It’s all happening too fast.”

“Please promise me that you will consider my feeling and please don’t make me wait 2 months for an answer.”

“I need you to go. I need to work and process all that you’ve said.”

“Please call me later.”

I nodded and escorted Kihuyn back to the reception area.

When I went back to my desk I pulled my old phone from my desk, turned it on, and saw the texts from Kihyun. A smile spread across my face. 

He did care but how genuine were his feelings?


	3. Why all the hype?

Things went back to the way they were when we were best friends, cuddling on the couch while watching tv, easy conversations, and joking around. Everything was comfortable. I loved comfortable. But there was something missing. We held hands but we weren't very affectionate with each other. The first time we made out I had expected sparks and fireworks but there were none. Sex ... ah yes, sex...it was never initiated by either one of us. Odd because we were both very sexual beings.

One afternoon when we were out walking at Kihyun's request.  
"Do you think that things are going well between us?"  
"I do but I think something is missing."  
He looked down at me.  
"You notice that, too?"  
"I can't understand what the problem is."  
"What if it's not really a problem?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"What if the whole boyfriend/girlfriend relationship isn't for us?"  
Kihyun didn't speak.  
"I'm sorry Kihyun. I made us both go through a lot of unneeded pain and struggles."  
"You don't need to apologize. I'm just glad to have you speaking to me again."  
"So you aren't mad at me?"  
"No. Not at all. I've always loved you. You are my ideal woman but it's obvious we are not meant to be together. We're better off as best friends than a relationship."  
"So you don't feel like this relationship has been a waste of time?"  
"No. I'm very happy we had this opportunity to see if there were any romance between us. I always wondered what it would be like in a relationship with you."  
I felt bad that I acted like a child and had my breakdown.  
"I'm still sorry for acting the way I did. I don't want to put any unnecessary strains on our friendship."  
"I don't think we need to worry about that."  
"So this is the end of our relationship?"  
"Yeah, but no the end of our friendship. You know that your friendship means the world to me and I must have you around. I rely on your way too much."

I'm glad I wasn't losing Kihyun's friendship. I realized that his friendship was the single most important relationship I had. I needed Kihyun but not in a sexual way but in a platonic way. I would always have Kihyun in my life.

We continued on our walk, "You know, now that you're single again, Wonho will want to go out with you."  
Kihyun laughed.  
"That doesn't surprise me, Wonho wants to go out with everyone!"  
"He is charming. Women and men love him."  
I nodded, "This I know. Everyone wants to be around him. He just has that personality. I care about Wonho but I can't date him...he's too high maintenance for me."  
Kihyun laughed, "Hyungwon wouldn't fit well with you either, he's just as high maintenance as Wonho."  
I shook my head, "Don't I know that!!"

We headed back to my apartment laughing about the mutual friends we had and how we couldn't date any of them. Kihyun rummaged food from my refrigerator and made lunch for us.  
"You are too good for me," I said.  
"Nah, that's not true. We just have something special that no one else has."


End file.
